Hope

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I came to Psalm 139 in a back to front fashion, starting with verses 23 & 24 first. As a new believer, I was attracted by the prayer at the end asking God to ‘search me and show me the evil within’ and I desperately wanted him to ‘lead me on the way everlasting’. I longed to leave the old me behind.

But then, over the years I came to realise that only by grasping and embracing the verses beforehand would I ever come to that prayer with the confidence God talks of in Hebrews 4. Of course, I would still come with a good dose of awe, godly grief and desperation, but I also grew along the way to come with an ongoing deeper assurance of who I’m praying to and His intentions towards me.

Entering in at the end of this particular psalm story hasn’t ruined it for me either. In the same way, we often come to the story of the Gospel of Jesus Christ knowing the end before the beginning and then we learn along the way. We hear about this man Jesus who died on a Cross. We hear that He rose from that death and that He goes away again and then we hear that at the very very end, all those who are chosen by God to be reconciled to Him through Christ, will be with Him where He is. Wow!…That’s a whole lot of ‘spoiler’!!

The day before my baptism, I prayed and said “God, I have no idea about the beginning (I was a firm evolutionist), I have no idea about the end (I was also a firm believer in new age afterlife and would often talk to ‘dead people’), and, I haven’t an absolute clue about the middle! But.. I know I’m my heart this is the truth and I’m gonna trust you to show me what I need to know, when I need to know it”.

God has done just that and although God is the God of order and precision, in what order He has unfolded His truth to me has been and always will be, unique to me. The truth itself is unchangeable and the same for us all, but the journey and the tools can look very different for each believer. And only God knows it. The revealed truth of Gods intimacy with each of His children in this Psalm is so valuable & useful to me. It’s God who knows everything about me and it’s God, who in the very last line, will lead me on the way everlasting, so I want to ponder some more as to why He would even be interested in doing that?…